Thursday, February 18, 2010

TOP TEN Reasons Why Tiger Woods is Holding a Press Conference Friday:

10. He's been really Pumpin' Iron a lot lately and wants new potential 'babes' to see his Guns.
9. The Golf Channels' ratings are tanking during Olympics.
8. He wants to announce to the world that he is the new de facto leader of the Tea Party.
7. He wants to come clean about his one-night-stand with Rielle Hunter (aka mistress #17).
6. He wants to brag about the $2 million he donated to the Haiti relief fund.
5. Jesper Parnevik dared him to.
4. Wanted to reinforce idea that HE still controls the media.
3. He wants to announce his newest sponsor: Viagra!
2. Elin told him to get the F*#$ out of the house!
1. To announce that he was chosen to be next season's Bachelor!

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