Shakespeare and Wordsworth Awaken in Their Graves!

Forrest Gump's mom once told him that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Surely, Shakespeare and Wordsworth upon reading or hearing today's non-superfluous, economically-challenged tripe, would heretofore Go Postal!

To be honest with you, scribes and creative types should avoid today's colloquial phrases lest they be branded with what both Rush Limbaugh and Rahm Emanuel inexorably refer to as the gallactically retarded. I'm just saying.

I mean, at this point in time, it is imperative to, uhhh, think outside of the box. It's not like, umm, politicians are telling us about shovel-ready projects two or three times a day. And I'm not aksing for a Thucidydes-like orator to bowl me over with rhetoric once practiced on the steps of the Parthenon.

Look! now let me be completely honest with you, we really need to push the envelope here. These ideas have been market-tested; thus, the ball's in your court. You know? Ok, you're not understanding this, so let me simplify it for you - it's my fault for perfunctorily dismissing you - my bad.

Enough with the histrionics, already! And wipe that incredulous smirk off of your face and vote up or down on this matter.

But, at the end of the day, LOL, it is what it is. So, Dude! I thank you for raising the bar and like, uhhh, keeping it real, all in the name of clarity and conciseness.